Thursday, August 11, 2011

Would this make you want to read more {very short story}?

No, but I'm not your target audience I'm sure. If you are trying to build suspense you should cut the first four paragraphs and begin with the last one. Nothing before that has anything to do with her being frightened. And I find it hard to accept that she would be frightened of footsteps in the hallway approaching her office in the middle of the day. Isn't that why she has an office? So that people can approach her about her business? Is she alone in the building?

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